19.8.11

There's Nothing To Do In Sweden

So the Swedes fuck, or kill.


It's a conclusion I've arrived at after much research and painstaking investigation. In other words, I finally read the much-touted "Millenium" series. 


What a crock of shit. 


The Girl Who Kicks Suspension Of Disbelief In The Nuts. In other words, the female protagonist, Lizzy What'sherface. Not only is she a Good-Will-Hunting level genius, she's also an awesome hacker. (With that one, single, solitary programme that let's her rip off hard disk after hard disk.) Plus she's the daughter of some sort of ex-Soviet super assassin. Plus she's at the heart of of some hard core state-sponsored conspiracy. Plus she has tattoos and piercings. Plus she's a billionaire. I mean... really?


The Guy Who Fucks Everything That Moves. A patently irresistible, crusading financial journalist. Fucks his editor. Fucks his researcher. Fucks his clients. Fucks lady cops. This guy is the Swedish Human Dildo - comes with a free side of Swedish Meatballs.


The Douchebag Husband. A guy who is so Euro-cool, all his wife has to do is call him and tell him she's spending the night with The Swedish Human Dildo, and he hikes himself off to the nearest singles bar, to pick up a bloke.


The Girl Who Can Kiss My Hairy Brown Ass. That's what the fourth installment ought to be called. Although, thankfully, there won't be one, because apparently the sheer effort of pounding out paragraph after paragraph of unadulterated crap proved too much for the author, and he has departed this veil of suckers for that big second-hand bookshop in the sky.  


In other news, Area Man to donate three practically new books to local library.